January 26th, 2012. Indian Republic Day.

Hi
Long time no talk.
I know no one reads this blog. But i feel like one day if someone discovers it, maybe someone will understand.
I've realized looking at the old posts that i have changed.
Greatly.
I'm not the girl I used to be. Some parts of me are better. I'm not obsessed with whats not important, but i lost that part of me that was inspired, the part that believed. The part which made greater than what i was.
I was different. I was inspired, I was....happy. I wasn't where I was academically but I was happy. I believed in miracles I didn't give in to hardships.
Music used to be what I loved the most. Now it's like reality is coming clear and my eyes have been opened. But the thing is that I don't want to be like this.
A part of me still believes in my dream. Sometimes I get really depressed at night. The pain is almost tangible. Like someone putting a stake through my heart. I can feel it my gut. The kid is gone and I don't wanna grow up. I don't wanna leave home in two years, I don't wanna live alone. As much as I want to make my Mom and Dad happy and proud of me.But that's half the reason why i do this. Why i try to get good grades. Why i give up my social life, my old self. Why i take SAT classes.
Part of it is that I really want to get somewhere in life. The other smaller part is for them.
I feel more alone than ever.
Then there's my non - existent love life. No progress. Liked the same guy for over year. Not cool enough or whatever enough to probably be with him.

Oh my gosh.
i haven't blogged in forever. i miss it. anyways. hai blogggers. supness. i REAALY hope that noone else finds this blog two peeps already found it (who i know) and blah blah im scarred for life.
uhm. i see you can reblog stuff here. which is pretty cool but. idk. i dont wanna do it. or maybe... CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO REBLOG SHIT?
i was just finished watching the vampire diaries and it was so sad at the end SPOILER ALERT when damon tells elena how MUCH he loves her and then before he puts the vervain necklace on her he compells are to forget. awww.
sometimes i wonder how love works. what are the mechanics. so over the years here are a few things i learned.
1) you dont have to be with someone to love them. that means you dont have to be in a relationship with them or like long distance and shit. People say love is a mutual feeling and it IS but, you dont have to be with the person to love them. You just gotta love 'em.
2) when you love someone...(not to quote valentines day) you learn to love the good and bad things about them.
and after writing this i just realized it doesnt matter how it works. it just does.
ITS ALREADY NOVEMBER AHHHHH
so im singing for obama on sunday for this thing so im like EXCITEDDD WOOT WOOT WOOT!!!!! and im sick and i was coughing my ass off today but i PROMISED my self that i would be better now. so yeah. im gonna stop being sick and start being amazing again.

I LOVE YOU
BYEE
my tumblr (its pretty awesome): http://musicandwriting82.tumblr.com/

Such an addiction

Blogging is SUCH an addcition.

Currently im in some stoopid history class and we have to work on this project, but nah. i felt like blogging.

haha some idiot cant telll the difference between a proctractor and a compass. im like laughing my ass off.

i m sitting at the back where the couches are so nobody can see what im doing. yeah i know the secret blogger.

From school only a few people can see my blog. i mean know about it. Thats why i like this so much. People judge. and its kind of wierd. I mean noone not even my bestie knows the deep side of me everyone thinks im this carefree girl. i am but i have a different side. And it kind of pisses me off when people judge you just AFTER ONE FREAKING EVENT. i mean seriously. 7th grade was a lonnng time ago.

Im hungray. damn. 10 more minutes. i want food. NOW.


winter is here. im happy about it. i like the cold. infact my normal body temperature is around 96.5 degress. im serious. whenever i check it its that temperature. even the doc said. she was like. yeah.

i like it when its cold. easy to run and its not giving you headaches all the time. plus i like wearing my uggs cuz theyre comfy.

I know today will be a good day. Ugh my friend is asking me what im doing.

gtg
Loveyou
byeeee.

Confusing mind.

People say you should listen to your brain.

And i made the mistake of doing that. 

Sometimes your heart and your brain have different views. Im the idiot who listens to her brain and fucks her life up.

currently im in the middle of having a migraine. And i feel like im dying.

anyways. Your brain states the logical. Your heart states whats right for you. What you really wanna do. So why not listen to it? why Not?


This is the shortest post evar, i gtg
byee
karishma

Beauty of life.

Hi. so i thought i blogged today but i didnt so im gonna blog because i feel like it.

and im discovering something i love other than music.

Life is beautiful. Thats why i write about it. And here i'd like to note, the word "beautiful" in my world is not EVER meant to be described the way how someone looks.

You don't look beautiful. You feel beautiful. You are beauty, in you, inside.

If you wanna describe how someone looks, say gorgeous or pretty. not beautiful. in my opinion.

There comes a time in life when something really shakes you down. or changes what you ever believed in. or how safe the world you thought was. Turns out its time to grow up, kar.

D. E. A. T. H.

The first time ever someone left this earth who i knew very well was my great grand mom. in 2008. I was so lost. i didnt know what it meant when someone died.

Until i actually thought about it today.

i'm still not sure about what i think about death, all i know is
1. Im not afraid of it.
2. its not scary.

and its all out. now. i wrote a letter to her. i wanted to know her well. i wanted to cry. i wanted her to know that i loved her.
i hope she does now.

im strong again. wrapped up in a strong soul with a big heart and powered by love.
love you
 - karishma.

Think Big. The Power of you.

I haven't blogged in like FOREVER.

Now, i've talked a lot about the secret.

I guess I'm gonna talk some more.

The world is made up of what you believe. if you don't believe somethings real. its not. simple as that.

So basically what you think brings out what you see today in life. You control your life by your thoughts, and by changing them, you can change your life. whoopee. you just discovered the greatest thing ever. You just discovered why your life is the way it is.

Some people have very low self esteem...And it usually stays that way, cause they don't know what to do. The only reason why they aren't (for example) pretty, is because they dont think they are.

Alot of times i hear my friends say, im fat. or im ugly. or im stupid. or im too skinny. or blahblahblah. All i can say is that they're not. except then they go on and argue about it. And thats the point where i cant help them. Instead of saying stuff like that, can't you JUST FOR ONCE change your thoughts around. Change them into: "Nobodys perfect. and i like myself the way i am." change those feelings of hate and ugliness towards yourself to feelings of love. The highest power in the world, like Leo Tolstoy said:
"Love is life. All, Everything that i understand, i understand only because of love. Everything is, everything exists only because of love"

Love is pretty darn powerful. Its the most powerful thing on this planet. It makes you live. Its the reason of life. Give love, get love.

So, i love you.
very much.

- Karishma

Eat, Pray, Love.

Yes. i know what your thinking.

call me crazy. call me weird. but i love this book, and i just started it.

Now why is a person like me reading this book? well cuz...i dont know. im deeep and light at the same time. i think i like me.

and i havent blogged in such a long time. ugh. school is the shit.

yes so back to eat pray love.

Its about a woman who's in a bad place and turns her life around. kind of describes my life ish. many people in my school saw it (the movie. im reading the book. books are always better) and said it was boring. huh. I MEAN SERIOUSLY THATS LIKE CALLING ME BORING. (trust me im super hyper. im not boring)  but anyways.

i like it cause of its deepness and philosphy. i like how she is the love within her. how you can be your own friend and lift yourself up in need.

love is within you. it lies there. its within every single person in this universe. Hate is temporary. Love is constant. Love is your soul.

so give a little love to yourself today.

till then
xxxx
karishma.